The "New and Improved" Classics.

The "Young Adult" shelves of Barnes and Nobles all seem to be filled with the same themes of paranormal romances between the immortals and star struck teenagers. What ever happened to the literature of old? The tales of struggles of love overcoming the social strifes of the past? Well, they are coming back with a new faces. Novels like "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and "Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters" star the growing list of the new editions of beloved literature.

Modern teens no longer seem to relate to Miss Austen's famous characters. Why read about Mister Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet when Edward and Bella's love is (somehow) more accessible? So, someone in some publishing house somewhere thought "Hey, what if Jane Austen wrote about zombies?"

No matter what you think of these books, you have to admit that the creators are geniuses. Copies of all the books are flying off shelves, and now Hollywood is taking their share. It seems as if everyone knows about these instant--and strange--best sellers.

But why? Why are they so popular?

Is it simply because of the current trend in zombies and other paranormal romances? These are not the first adapations of Miss Austen's books. Modern authors have been continued the romances of her characters, and have often made them creatures of the supernatural. Vampire Darcy's Desire has the dashing hero as a sullen blood sucker, thus explaining his aversion to romance. And this is not the first book where Darcy is a vampire.

But why these books and not those others? I keep asking myself that over and over again.

Is it the manner in which the author maintains the original voice of the text? Or perhaps the hilarity of such a cast of characters battle the hordes of the undead? Or maybe the timing of the publishing was perfect for such popularity?

From my own readings of the books, and observing others who read them, I can see the instant love for them. Everyone agrees on the hilarious nature of each book, and personally I think that's why people love these books. There are very few people who do not enjoy a good laugh, especially in this crazy world we live in.

My one final question is this...What would Jane Austen have to say?

Burning Away Reality

1984 shows a world filled with so many injuries to mankind, that reality almost seems to no longer exist, and perhaps that is the case. Everyday history is being rewritten. Winston, along with many other men, spends his work hours rewriting past documents which would prove any aspect of the party incorrect or lying. Then the originals are destroyed, leaving no records behind. Any true documents have most likely vanished long ago to prepare the way for the party’s conquest. The reconstruction of history cripples society two fold. First, each time a new article is written, it falls further and further away from the truth until nothing is left behind but fabricated propaganda. Using Plato’s allegory of the cave, it is like a man turning away from the fire and then slowly pushing themselves away from the fire until everything is masked in shadow. Before the party’s reign, reality and the new ideas that create it were at least present to some individuals, but that is no more for those brave few who rebel are tortured and put through hell until they crack and submit to Big Brother. The second blow, which stems from this first dilemma, is that the possibility for any new ideas to be created is gone, which then in turns destroys the true reality. With old ideas dead and gone, new philosophers have no mentors to learn from. What would our present world be like with out Plato teaching Socrates? Even if a new idea miraculously formed, would it be real if it is not from anything truthful? But of course we must take in the fact that any ideas that go against the party of Big Brother will be put down without mercy. Imagine a man desperately trying to look at the fire, but he is beaten down by his fellow cavemen for such a drastic attempt. In this environment, the breeding ground for new ideas is an infertile as the poly-urethane kitchen table I am writing to you from. So along with all hope for the future being destroyed, reality has vanished into the darkness of the totalitarian state. I just can’t wait.

Ignorance is Strength

War is Peace

Freedom is Slavery

Lost Has Been Found! (Written in 2008)

Lost Has Been Found!

4 8 15 16 23 42. It’s not Penny’s boat. Who is Jacob? What is the black smoke monster’s purpose? Why can Desmond see the future? Whatever happened to Walt and Michael? Will the survivors ever go home? Whose funeral did Jack attend? Why am I still watching this show?? ARGH!!!

For three compelling seasons, Lost has captivated and tortured the minds of watchers around the world, and its now back for its fourth season. On January 31, 2008 the most entrancing show will return to primetime television, but not without some changes. Due to the writer’s strike, the number of episodes will be drascitilly cut down, but the show may not experience the usual hiatus midway through the season. These factors also might explain why the airing of the first new episode was pushed back.

It was also announced that the series will end in 2011, meaning that the creators will have to start giving us answers if they want to tie up all the loose ends. For some of us that comes as sweet relief, but to others the end is coming too soon.

For those desperate and obsessive followers who cannot survive any longer without learning more, the creators of Lost have given us a few extras to make up for the shortened season and the long wait. First, the ABC website and Verizon Wireless V-Cast has a new series of short web episodes called Lost: Missing Pieces. The short episodes provide new background information on the inhabitants of the island, which supplements the further insane bonus features on all the DVD box sets.

Does anyone remember Desmond’s line about the puzzle without a picture on the box? While he was describing his ability to see the future, the marketing staff had created a series of four puzzles before that episode was aired. These thousand piece torture devices have only a teeny tiny portion of the picture to work off of. Everything else is left up to you.

The series of puzzles link up the clues about the hatch, the numbers, the others, and everyone’s lives before the crash. While most of the clues are already well known, there are a few pictures and notes that have not yet been aired.

Once you finish slaving away over the tiny pieces of cardboard, turn over the puzzle for a glow-in-the-dark replica of the map drawn on the hatch’s door. All four puzzles connect to complete the image, and you can read all the notes about the set up of the island and the other hatches, but of course, most of the writing does not make sense and only opens up more questions.

I, along with the aide of my family, have completed two of the four and begun the third. Without a doubt, it is hell, but once you finish and more of the mystery reveals itself, you sigh with relief. Though the next, day you stare at the next unfinished puzzle and wonder what you’ve you gotten yourself into.

The entire Lost empire leaves people feeling like that, especially after hours of watching episodes screen by screen to catch the images in the black smoke monster. Still, we love it, even if we lay awake in our beds and then come into the school screaming our heads off at our friends and we feel good when we solve one of the mysteries of the island. It’s only a matter of time until the craziness starts up again and you’ll be able to see who’s who when it comes to Lost. To those of you who still want to know what everyone else is talking about, you can watch the old seasons online on ABC or rent the DVDs from Blockbuster or NetFlix. You can watch these episodes over and over again, trying to divine what will happen next.

Out of Air

The narrow silver hallways were flooded with red light. Alarms reverberated off the metal, bouncing all throughout the spaceship. One young crew member dashed through the hallway, tripping and bouncing as the artificial gravity faltered. Her bulky spacesuit helped keep her down, but the speed of her mission threw off her personal balance.

"Colonel! Colonel!" she screamed, looking into each side room on her way to the bridge. Sparks flew from every other circuit, jumping out of the dying ship. "Colonel!" the scared girl screamed louder now as she felt the heaving last breathes of the engine.

"Damnit Maria, what are you doing here?" her Colonel finally answered, emerging from the engine room. His suit was covered in black liquid, smeared across as he tried to save the ship.

"Wasn't gunna leave you," she spoke through the lump in her throat. The look in the Colonel's eyes scared her; it was dark and dismal, with a fear she never saw before.

"I ordered all crew to abandon ship, didn't I? Last time I checked, we got a giant hole in our side that will kill us all," the Colonel answered harshly, pushing past her. Biting down on her lip, Maria continued to follow after him.

"You're here," she pointed out the obvious as the Colonel leaped up the stairs to the bridge.

"Thought maybe I could save her. Had to be some way to fix the hole. Some seal or another," he groaned, and in response the ship lurched forward. Flailing her arms, Maria fell up the stairs while the Colonel dodged the flying loose portions of the main board.

"Sir, the entire left side was ripped apart. There was nothing you could do," Maria told him as the Colonel helped pull her to her feet.

"Don't remind me," he sighed, sitting down. As he dropped his head into his hands, Maria's suit began to beep shrilly. With a meep of fear, she covered the small red icon at the base of her suit's neck. Opening one eye, the Colonel looked at her with a small smile. "Ten minutes of oxygen let?" he spoke lightly, not wanting to further alarm the girl. She nodded rapidly, her eyes filling up with tears. "Don't worry. Mine went off five minutes ago," he chuckled, standing up now.

"Don't worry? How is that supposed to help me?" Maria shrieked, throwing her hands up in the air. Ever since the collision with the meteor, her heart had been pounding. Now, the hyperventilating began.

"You're not supposed to do that," the Colonel sighed, coming to her side. Clutching her chest, Maria felt the burning of tears in her eyes. "Really, you shouldn't ," the Colonel cringed. Emotions were not the war veteran's forte.

"We're going to die in ten minutes! What does it matter anyway," she sobbed, grabbing onto the Colonel's arms. The glass of her helmet fogged over from her heavy breathing, and in seconds the light began to beep again.

"Die in five minutes actually," the Colonel corrected her, but winched as Maria's cries grew more frantic. Her legs buckled underneath, and Maria fell down to the floor. Taking one single deep breath, the Colonel continued to hold onto her as they fell. Any attempts at hushing her were drowned out over Maria's cries.

"I can't die like this! I never got to travel like I wanted to! I've never been kissed! I never did anything with my life!" she sobbed more and more.

"Never travel? Maria, you're in a bloody space ship heading to the next galaxy. I'm pretty sure that counts as traveling," the Colonel attempted a cheerful joke, but Maria shook her head.

"Never going to make it there. Oh, I'm just a miserable failure," she said. Now, the Colonel had had enough of her whining. Taking a hold of her by her shoulders, the Colonel looked Maria right in the eyes.

"I am ordering you to stop. Now," he said firmly. Of course, Maria opened her mouth to protest, but he placed a hand on her helmet. "This is no way to die," he told her softly, and Maria slowly closed her mouth. He could feel her shaking grow worse by the second, but the Colonel let her go. Giving her a strong smile, the Colonel took a hold of his own helmet. He closed his eyes, and then twisted it. With a loud hiss, the helmet detached from the spacesuit.

"What are you doing?" Maria screamed at him. As he reached towards her, Maria tried to pull herself away. When the Colonel took her hand, she wept even louder than before. The look in the Colonel's eyes told her to trust him, but Maria was unsure. With a pained moan, she let the man who had guided her for the past two years to pull her close. His skin flushing from the strain, the Colonel reached for Maria's helmet. Even though she let him twist it, Maria franticly cried out. Finally, she stopped once he pulled it off. Taking the largest breath she could, Maria waited for his next command. The emptiness of space felt cold against her skin. She could sense what air was left being drawn out as the hole in the back of their ship sucked all the life away.

As her final breath burned in her chest, Maria watched the Colonel close his eyes. In the next second, he had pulled her against his chest and pressed his lips against hers. It being her first kiss, Maria was unsure of what to expect. His lips were cold as they meshed with hers. It was a strange sensation, but quickly Maria let herself melt into the kiss. Closing her eyes, Maria felt lightheaded, with a tingling across the back of her skull. Maybe it was from the lack of oxygen and the growing vacuum of space, but she had no thoughts for that. Now, she let herself fade into the kiss until everything turned to black.

Flavor

The flavor of beer stung the back of Jacob Gaulin's throat. It was warm from sitting untouched at his side for the duration of the card game. Now, as the dealer reshuffled the deck for the next hand, he had a moment. In two deep gulps, the glass mug was emptied. Once the amber liquid was empty, Jacob missed it. The presence of an empty glass at his side as the cards slid across his table bothered him. As he covered the flat rectangles with his hand, Jacob looked down at the bottom of his glass. There was nothing left but white froth. And now, it would sit next to him for the next several hours.

"Your move."